CHAPTER LXXXVI

THE TENDER PROP REPEATED

THOUGH the new bonnet was a sore subject with Mrs. Goldspink, it was rather a useful one for Miss Rosa. It made Mrs. Goldspink knag and talk against Mrs. McDermott and her daughter, and as a natural consequence, made our friend Jasper more keen and determined about the young lady. And as Mr. Bunting was equally ardent there was presently very brisk competition, and much ringing at the Privett Grove door bell. Our friend, the Jug, too dropped in occasionally on his own account; so that altogether there was a very considerable amount of billing and cooing going on at the Grove. This being the fanning up time, people talked very amiably and complacently of the Jug and his property—such an old family—such a nice place; and said he had been quite the saving of Mr. Jessop, who but for his good and virtuous guidance would soon have degenerated into a regular sot. Then as to Admiration Jack and Jasper, the ladies (for it is they alone who dabble in these matters) declared that either was excellent, whichever in fact seemed to be the favourite; so that all seemed to be unanimous, so far as the tongues were concerned. If, however, Mamma and Miss Rosa could have overheard the mirth and ejaculations that burst forth as their dear friends got away from the house, they would not have had much opinion of their sincerity—little flirt—old fool—drunken creature, alluding to Boyston,—pity him—pity her—pity them, and so on.

Our friend Mr. Bunting, as we said before, had had much experience in courtship, and though he had undoubtedly been kept in abeyance a good while, yet he was not altogether unwilling to procrastinate the suit, so long as he felt certain of winning at last. Despite Mr. Archey Ellenger’s information, and also despite meeting our friend Jasper at the Grove, occasionally, he had no doubt whatever that he himself was to be the happy man, and so treated Jasper with a proper mixture of pity and condescension. The advent of the Jug now, however, rather altered matters, and Mamma thinking Rosa might do well to suit herself with one or other of the gentlemen, gave her the usual opportunities, losing her keys, forgetting her kerchief, or being called away to see new servants, and so on.

Some ladies pretend to get offers without expecting them, and practise all sorts of elegant little airs and graces on the occasion, start and stare as if wholly unable to comprehend what the gentleman means, or declare that they are really so taken by surprise that they must be allowed a little time for reflection—that they have a high opinion of Captain Trophy, Mr. Green, or whoever the suitor may be, but that he had never crossed the fair one’s mind in any other light than that of an agreeable companion, thus paying an indirect compliment to their own looks at the expense of their veracity. A man must be very simple who believes such a story.

Though Miss Rosa had not had much experience in the offering way, and that only with our hero, yet her womanly instinct told her to a minute when it was coming, and after flashing a glance at her questioner, she turned aside as if unable to speak her emotion. Mr. Bunting, who had had this style of answer before, and knew how to deal with it, then seized her in his arms, and impressed such a volley of kisses on her coral lips and fair cheeks, as enabled him to present her to Mamma on her return as his own accepted bride. And Mamma equally astonished, was delighted to hear the good news, and after saying all sorts of handsome things on behalf of her daughter, concluded by declaring that she was sure Mr. Bunting would make Rosa an excellent husband, and she wished them all possible joy and prosperity, whereupon she too kissed her daughter extravagantly. All this unwonted energy and exercise naturally drew forth the tears and the kerchief, and John Thomas happening to come in with the coals in the midst of the sunshiny shower, reported to Miss Perker, the maid, what he had seen; whereupon Perker immediately jumped to the conclusion that the hero of the Roseberry Rocks sash was to be her future master. And in less than five minutes, the news was all over the house, and conveyed to Crop and the groom gardener in the stable. And a great commotion was the consequence—great speculation as to when they would be married, where they would live, what Jasper would say, and whether “Missis” herself was going to change her condition—they thought it looked very like it—but they would soon see.

Save for the triumph and perhaps the sake of appearances among friends, there is very little use in announcing a match—people all know it so well long beforehand. Ladies, however, have always great pleasure in proclaiming them, and Mr. Bunting’s offer was speedily trumpeted throughout the county. The news was variously received by the young and the old. The young were always sure that Mr. Bunting would be the man, while the old shook their heads, and said, they’d believe it when they saw it. It wasn’t likely a worldly-minded woman, like Mrs. McDermott, was going to let such an undoubted prize as young Goldspink slip through her fingers.—Who was Mr. Bunting?

Mrs. McDermott was now rather puzzled how to act with regard to her dear friend Mr. Goldspink, whether to let him hear of the engagement from some one else, or to call and inform the banker’s lady herself. On thinking it over, she saw no reason why she should not call herself. There had never anything really serious passed between the Mammas, save a mutual confidence and readiness to leave the young people together. If Jasper did not choose to be on the alert, Rosa was not to miss a chance by waiting for him. Certainly not. He might never have come forward. Dared say Mrs. Goldspink thought they would consider Jasper a catch, but this offer would show that they were not dependent upon him.

So she determined to go herself; and the brougham, and the invidious bonnet were speedily back at sivin-and-four’s door. Mrs. McDermott arrived at a critical time, for Jasper had just heard of Miss Rosa’s engagement from his turf friend, Mr. Tailings, and had been upbraiding his mother most roundly for the part she had taken in the matter, declaring he would throw himself off the church steeple, or go to Van Diemen’s Land forthwith, if he didn’t get Rosa. Mrs. Goldspink was frightened, for Jasper was accustomed to have his own way, and could ill put up with any opposition. Instead therefore of following Jasper’s furious example, she tried the soothing system, commencing of course by kissing Mrs. McDermott, and then after a sort of half congratulation proceeded in a round-about way to insinuate (simper) that there was a (cough) time when she might have (hem) hoped to have had the (sneeze) pleasure of calling dear Rosa her (cough) daughter; but—and then she paused, apparently taken up with something that had got entwined in the silk fringe of her cloak. Mrs. McDermott bobbed and simpered too; she was sure she had always felt and expressed the greatest regard for dear Jasper as well on account of his own intrinsic worth, as on that of his excellent parents; and nothing would have given her greater (hem) pleasure than cementing their long (cough) intimacy with a match, but—and here too she was brought up short, and began feeling for her kerchief. Each then sat sighing for a while, until perhaps emboldened by the success of her approaches, and thinking of Jasper’s proposed descent from the steeple, Mrs. Goldspink proceeded to make more inquiries, asked all about Mr. Bunting and his means, whether his Papa was alive, if he had a place of his own, where it was, and finding that there was a good deal yet to ascertain, she said that of course Mrs. McDermott would see that Rosa was properly secured, and she then began to talk of her husband’s old sivin-and-four’s great wealth, Jasper’s fine expectations, and the beautiful villa they were building, of which she produced the plans, showing the kitchens, cellars, and shoe house, larder, dairy, and everything. Then, after a prolonged sit, dear Mrs. Goldspink returned dear Mrs. McDermott’s kiss, and saw her to her carriage, feeling considerably relieved by the result of her visit. And Mrs. Goldspink made such a representation to her son as induced him to postpone as well his aerial flight, as his journey to Van Diemen’s Land.